7 Surprising Things That Kill Your Sex Drive (And How to Fix Them)
- Dr Niraj Gechode
- Oct 4
- 5 min read
Updated: Oct 7
A healthy sex drive plays a vital role in physical, emotional, and mental well-being. However, many people face periods where their libido drops without any apparent reason. While stress, hormonal changes, or relationship troubles are commonly cited causes, there are lesser-known factors that quietly destroy desire. Understanding these causes and knowing how to counteract them is essential for rekindling intimacy and improving overall health. But before that, let’s understand what sex drive actually is and how it is formed.
What is libido? How does it work in your body?
Libido is essentially your body and brain signalling “I want sex”. It’s a coordinated process:
Hormones – act as the “ignition key”
Brain – acts as the “control centre”
Nervous System – acts as the “messenger”
Blood Flow – acts as the “fuel delivery”
Psychological State – acts as the “mood driver”
Lifestyle & Environment – affects all the above
1. Hormones
Role: Testosterone, estrogen, dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin signal sexual desire and pleasure.
Everyday things that can lower hormones:
Chronic stress → increases cortisol → reduces testosterone.
Poor sleep → affects testosterone and dopamine production.
Excess alcohol or smoking → lowers testosterone.
Poor nutrition → low zinc, vitamin D, or essential fats → hormone imbalance.
2. Brain Activity
Role: Processes sexual thoughts, senses, attraction, and triggers desire via the hypothalamus and limbic system.
Everyday things that can interfere:
High stress or anxiety → overactive prefrontal cortex → suppresses desire.
Constant over-stimulation from social media or pornography → desensitisation.
Depression → changes in neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin.
3. Nervous System
Role: Carries signals from the brain to genitals; the parasympathetic system enables arousal, sympathetic system handles excitement.
Everyday things that can affect it:
Sedentary lifestyle → weak nerve signalling and circulation.
Diabetes or chronic illness → nerve damage.
Stress → sympathetic overdrive → “fight or flight” dominates, suppressing arousal.
4. Blood Flow
Role: Delivers oxygen and nutrients to the genitals for erection, lubrication, and sensitivity.
Everyday things that can harm it:
Poor cardiovascular health → clogged arteries or high blood pressure.
Smoking → damages blood vessels.
Lack of exercise → reduces circulation efficiency.
5. Psychological State
Role: Desire is heavily influenced by mood, confidence, and relationship dynamics.
Everyday things that lower libido psychologically:
Chronic stress or unresolved conflicts.
Low self-esteem or body image issues.
Fatigue or burnout.
6. Lifestyle & Environment
Role: Everything from sleep, diet, and activity level to stress and social life feeds into the above systems.
Everyday culprits:
Overworking → high stress, low sleep.
Processed foods → hormonal imbalance.
Excess alcohol or recreational drugs → lower brain, hormone, and circulation function.
How to counteract the everyday things that suppress libido based on what’s happening in your body?
1. Hormones
Countermeasures:
Sleep well: 7–9 hours of quality sleep boosts testosterone and dopamine.
Eat nutrient-rich foods: Include zinc (nuts, seeds), vitamin D (sunlight, fortified foods), and healthy fats (avocados, olive oil).
Manage stress: Meditation, yoga, or deep breathing lowers cortisol, helping maintain hormone balance.
Limit alcohol & smoking: Protects testosterone and overall hormonal health.
2. Brain Activity
Countermeasures:
Mental relaxation: Reduce anxiety and overthinking; mindfulness and breathing exercises help.
Moderate stimulation: Avoid overuse of social media or pornography that can desensitise sexual response.
Stimulate desire positively: Romantic time, flirting, intimacy, or erotic reading/videos that enhance arousal naturally.
Address depression: Therapy, counselling, or lifestyle adjustments can help normalise neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin.
3. Nervous System
Countermeasures:
Exercise regularly: Improves nerve function and parasympathetic response.
Manage chronic conditions: Keep diabetes, hypertension, or other illnesses under control to protect nerves.
Relaxation techniques: Yoga or deep breathing can reduce sympathetic overdrive and support sexual arousal.
4. Blood Flow
Countermeasures:
Cardio exercises: Walking, running, or swimming enhances circulation.
Healthy diet: Reduce processed foods, sugar, and trans fats to maintain blood vessel health.
Stop smoking: Preserves vascular function essential for arousal.
Maintain a healthy weight: Excess weight impairs circulation and testosterone production.
5. Psychological State
Countermeasures:
Stress management: Meditation, hobbies, or “me-time” to reduce mental load.
Relationship nurturing: Open communication, intimacy, and quality time with partner.
Boost confidence: Self-care, exercise, and positive self-talk improve mood and sexual desire.
Professional help if needed: Therapy for anxiety, depression, or trauma.
6. Lifestyle & Environment
Countermeasures:
Balanced daily routine: Sleep, work, exercise, and leisure in harmony.
Healthy nutrition: Fresh fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins.
Moderate alcohol & caffeine: Avoid overconsumption that affects sleep, hormones, and circulation.
Stay active socially: Positive social interactions and fun activities improve mood and dopamine.
What if these do not work?
If these lifestyle, diet, and stress-management strategies don’t work, it usually means there’s a deeper underlying cause affecting libido. Here’s what could be going on and what to do:
1. Hormonal Imbalances
Problem: Low testosterone, estrogen, or thyroid issues.
Solution: Get a blood test to check hormone levels. Doctors can recommend hormone replacement therapy or other treatments if needed.
2. Mental Health Issues
Problem: Anxiety, depression, or unresolved trauma can strongly suppress desire.
Solution: Consult a mental health professional. Therapy, counselling, or medications may help restore libido.
3. Chronic Illness or Medications
Problem: Diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, or medications (antidepressants, blood pressure drugs, painkillers) can reduce sex drive.
Solution: Talk to your doctor about adjusting medications or managing the illness better.
4. Relationship or Emotional Problems
Problem: Unresolved conflicts, lack of emotional connection, or poor communication can lower libido.
Solution: Couples therapy, open communication, or improving intimacy outside the bedroom.
5. Age-Related Changes
Problem: Natural hormone decline with age (especially testosterone in men and estrogen in women) can reduce libido.
Solution: Hormonal evaluation and targeted interventions; lifestyle support still helps.
6. Medical Interventions
If all else fails, medical evaluation may include:
Hormone therapy (testosterone, estrogen)
Medications for sexual function
Treating underlying physical or psychological conditions
Specialised treatments for women include:
Laser vaginal rejuvenation (women)
G-spot enhancement
O shot
Clitoral stimulation
Specialised treatments for men include:
P-shot
Injection Botox
Shockwave therapy
Your sex drive isn’t something random. It’s connected to how you live, eat, sleep, and handle stress. Small things like lack of sleep, too much stress, or poor diet can quietly mess with your desire without you even realising it. The good news? Once you know what’s going on, you can take simple steps like getting better sleep, eating well, staying active, and making time for yourself and your partner to bring it back.
Of course, sometimes these changes aren’t enough, and that’s okay. There could be deeper issues like hormone imbalances, mental health struggles, or other medical concerns at play. Talking to a doctor or therapist can make a huge difference and help you get the right support.
At the end of the day, taking care of your libido is really about taking care of yourself. With a little attention and some healthy habits, you can feel more connected, confident, and in tune with your body, and that’s something worth prioritising.
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